I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How external is "for external use only"?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
