Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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