Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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