I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
