Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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