Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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