This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
