You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think my moral compass just broke
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
