dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
