Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
