I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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