I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
