Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
