So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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