who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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