When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Randomize
