i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
