I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
