The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We named our party play list daddy issues
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
