So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i now understand why vodka
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
