I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
