Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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