ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
