You're completely useless in the revolution.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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