told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize