oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
