I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
