are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
