I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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