Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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