dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
