Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
