At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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