also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
