Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
