my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
