You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
