The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
