I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
