real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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