I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
