I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
