fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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