He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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