Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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