Im at strip club and am horny
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
