my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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