Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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