Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
