i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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