So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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