I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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