the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
