I accidentally burped into my bong.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
