why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
