Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
