you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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