everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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