You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
