Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
