Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
