so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
