So drunk its hurt
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize