you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
