i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
