I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
