3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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