It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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