Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
