Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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