I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
