Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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