p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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