I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i dont even know how to be here
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
