they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
