Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
